Wednesday 12 December 2012

Hole yet whole

I brought my iPod into the studio recently so we've been listening to T's music on a daily basis for the past few weeks. Today I'm sat listening to JJ Cale and it's making me miss T. How I wish I could see him again. Sometimes, even three years on, I still can't believe he's gone. The injustice of it all hits me hard today. He was a good person; kind, loving, wise, thoughtful. He introduced me to new things. He challenged me. He loved me and he shared his life with me. I was lucky, I know that. He makes me whole – even now.

Although I think of T every single day, and assume (and hope) I always will, there's not normally pain associated with those thoughts. Now, on the occasions when I do feel pain, it's of the dull aching variety. Like a painkiller wearing off; that niggling feeling of discord in the periphery of your being. But the happiness in my life right now helps negates this pain. Doesn't mean I don't miss him though. 

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