Quick catch up

Well, I'm in a little town called Thames where we have 45 mins to kill en route to Coromandel Peninsula and hot water beach. We dropped my little posse of mates off in Auckland this morning so it feels very strange without them, but there are some nice newbies and I've just got till Sat so it's do-able. I feel lucky to have met so many lovely people who have helped make this experience a bit easier for me. We've been through a fair bit together and we'll always have this trip and its memories in common. There's now a lot of young (ie 15/16 year old) German students on the bus, so the atmosphere is quite different and I feel old. Having said that, I was asked for ID in the supermarket yesterday - get in!

I've had a very different experience on the North Island, partly because we got a new driver and guide who aren't half as good as Mike and Avril, the previous guides, and partly because we've done a hell of a lot of driving on a very hot bus. Having said that, the Bay of Islands was absolutely beautiful and I spent a very enjoyable day sailing and swimming up there - it felt like being on holiday once again and they could have left me there for a week or two and I would have been quite happy.

Our next stop, Hot Water Beach, sounds pretty amazing - you dig a hole in the sand and it fills with boiling hot water that you add some cold water too and have a little soak. Then we've got the geothermal stuff and an alpine walk coming up in the next few days before I get back to Wellington on Saturday morning. It will be lovely to see Laura again - my second home - then it's on to Melbourne to stay with lovely Janelle. NZ will always have a special place in my heart - it's taken very good care of me - but I'm looking forward to settling somewhere for a while and not living out my case.

Until the next time...

Adrenaline junkie

Skydives should be compulsory. Everyone should be made to do one at least once in their lives. It is the best thing I've ever done, bar none. I can't describe the feeling. You have to do it to understand. But I'll do my best just so you get an idea.

The sun shone yesterday. After what felt like days of rain we finally had clear blue skies and hot, hot sunshine. The best conditions in which to see the Abel Tasman region. Lucky, lucky. First off was a day of sea kayaking. I loved it. The sea was flat and it felt good to be active and not just sat on the bus. We saw a seal attacking a squid - throwing it up in the air and slamming it back down into the water. Quite something. There were also loads of jellyfish. Packed lunch was eaten on a paradise island beach - golden sands, turquoise water, lush green vegetation - what more could you ask for?

We continued on to another island for tea and cake, seeing more seals and the feet of two little penguins hiding in the rocks. Then it was back to the mainland with thoughts of the skydive looming. Why had I chosen to spoil a perfectly good day by jumping out of a perfectly good plane? Why hadn't I chosen to hang-glide?

I had half an hour to get changed and start stressing for real, then about a 30 minute drive to the airstrip. I was kitted up quickly and bundled onto the teeny tiny plane feeling more than a little sick - the two instructors got in and sat side by side on the floor (no room either side, that's how narrow the plane is). Us jumpers then got in and sat between their legs, against their bodies, then the two cameramen got in. There was no room for anyone else, so we're talking a small plane here. It bumped along the grass then we were airborne. I cried my eyes out. Because it's the time of the month. Because I might die. Because I was doing it for T. Because he wasn't there with me. Because he can't know how bloody brave I was being. Because I've never wanted to do a skydive in my life. Just because. My instructor, Scruffy, held my arms and didn't try and speak to me and that was great. He occasionally pointed things out, like the peak of Mt Taranaki on the north island poking through the cloud and the hang-gliding members of our group drifting below us. I asked how high we were at one point, thinking we must be almost there. We were only about half way but boy, were we high. I was then asked to put my hat on and the cameramen started getting ready. Scruffy put my goggles on me, the door opened and we started shuffling towards it. From then I felt great. No time to think. No time to worry. The thought of it was definitely worse than the doing of it.

I hung dangling face first over the world. I held on to my harness, hooked my legs under the plane, tipped my head back and waited for Scruff to let go. This all happens in a split second. Then you start falling. Not a plummeting to earth kind of falling. More like a flying, gliding falling. Definitely a good falling. It was cold up there. And windy. And when I screamed or smiled my mouth and cheeks kind of flapped in the breeze. Attractive I'm sure. Then the cameraman appeared beside me. He tipped onto his back and was flying below me taking pictures. That was weird. Before you know it the freefall is over (you're travelling at something like 200km/hr and the freefall only lasts about 50s), the chute opens and you're pulled up. Then it really hits you. You know you're safe. You're floating above the earth. You really, really, really feel alive. It's truly awesome. The scenery was spectacular - vineyards below me, mountains to one side, the sandy beaches and ocean to the other side. We had to do a few spins to line up with the airstrip - that was the only bit that made my tummy turn over and I felt a bit sick, but it was all good fun. Even the landing was smooth. I just had to put my legs in the air, Scruffy put his feet on the ground then told me to stand up. That was it. Over before you know it.

It doesn't compare to the canyon swing. The gravity on that freefall really gets you. Then you really are hurtling towards the ground. This is much more gentle, more time to take everything in and truly beautiful. I was buzzing. I couldn't stop grinning, I was jumping up and down. I loved every minute. You have to do one. I can't recommend it enough. Just make sure the weather is good and the scenery is worth seeing from the air. Don't just jump for the sake of jumping. I never ever thought I'd say this, but maybe I'm officially an adrenaline junkie. I certainly feel stronger, braver, prouder and happier as a result of doing all these activities. I wish I had been this person when T was alive. He would have liked it. I could have related more to him. Now I understand him and his various addictions so much more. And love him all the more for that.

PS I only have one regret about yesterday and that is calling my mum at 6.15am UK time to tell her I was OK. I added 13 hrs instead of deducting (I blame the high I was on), so thought it was 8.15am and she would be keen to know I was alive. Oops. Sorry Ma. I hope the phone ringing so early didn't worry you more. And that you managed to go back to sleep.

The day I nearly jumped out a plane at 13,000ft

Put my name down for a skydive today, jumping tomorrow. Stopped off at the airstrip en route to do the paperwork in advance and were told that we were jumping there and then instead. Holy shit once again. Felt sick. Had a cry. Went to the loo twice in 4 minutes. Got harnessed up. Watched the first three people head up into the clouds. Waited a bit. Watched them come gliding back down to terra firma. Felt sick. Stopped crying. Rain started. Jump cancelled. That was enough of an adrenaline buzz for me. I don't think I need to do the actual jump. But I will. Written on my hands in preparation of the jump today is '4 Tim'. That will be written there tomorrow too and that's why I have to do it. T absolutely loved his parachute jump and everyone that came safely down today was buzzing, even the girl who was more scared than me. So I reckon it'll do me good to feel the fear and do it anyway. It does mean that tomorrow is pretty busy as I'm off sea kayaking in Abel Tasman National Park tomorrow. We get picked up at the end of the trip by the skydive people and off we go again. Subject to the weather, which is meant to be good. As a quick aside, the girl on reception was from Bebside in Northumberland. Small world, ay?

Otherwise, not much to report. The weather has been shit. Very wet but it's also humid now. I upgraded last night in Punakaiki as all my stuff was really damp. Went to the Pancake Rocks yesterday. They were pretty cool with lots of blowholes at high tide. There was one called Chimney Pot because it looked like there was smoke coming out of it. We had pancakes for brekkie in honour of our location. I've been speaking French with a Frenchie called Alice. I feel tired and ready for a break from the camping lark. We've got two nights here in Abel Tasman then I get to see Laura for a night in Wellington. I'm so looking forward to getting back to civilisation, even if it's just for a night. And it will be lovely to see Laura. I wish I had more than two nights with her at the end of my trip. The time has passed really quickly. But, on the plus side, I get to see my Melbourne marras soon. Looking forward to that too.

Alright, braindump over. Off to buy some beers for tonight to celebrate my almost skydive. And give me some Dutch courage for the real thing tomorrow. I will be fine. So please don't worry Mum! xx

West coast

Well, here I am in Hokitita on the west coast where we have a couple of hours to catch up on emails and have some lunch. It's quite cold and overcast but dry.

Since my Queenstown adventures I've been jet boating on the Wilkin river which was good fun, if a little tame after the canyon swing. It's incredible how those boats work in only a few mm of water. The river was low so you could frequently feel the stones under the boat in the really shallow sections. Yesterday we were in the town of Fox, home to the Fox Glacier. I decided not to partake in the glacier walk, having seen the glacier at Chamonix and done an ice hike in Chile, so instead I jumped on a bike and cycled up to the foot of the glacier with a couple of others from the bus. It was hard work on the old legs being on a bike but worth the uphill cycle. We then went on to Lake Matheson, a small lake nearby and walked around that before tucking into a well-earned ice-cream. We camped at a beautiful spot at Okarita last night.

I was in cook group so didn't see the sea by daylight but was instead rustling up some tasty nachos to feed the troops. We had a beach fire last night and I enjoyed a few glasses of delicious Hawke's Bay Pinot Noir. Interestingly and annoyingly, the Australian wine is really cheap here, about four quid, but the NZ stuff is very pricey. Last night's bottle cost me about 7 quid (sorry, can't find the pound sign) but I wanted to try the native wine and support the wine industry here. It was worth the money though and I'll be looking for another bottle tomorrow I reckon.

Today we stopped at a quirky museum and watched an interesting film about the deer hunters. I may have mentioned that deer aren't native to NZ but were brought over by the Brits. They soon ran amok and ate the native bush so were hunted. The demand for venison grew, with lots being exported to Germany, so the Kiwis decided to capture the wild deer alive and set up deer farms. Some crazy Kiwi dudes trialled jumping out of helicopters onto the backs of the deers, wrestling them to the ground, then they tied them up and choppered (good Kiwi word) them back to civilisation where you now see lots of them in fields, just like our cows and sheep. Strange but true.

We are at tonight's camp, at the Pancake Rocks (Punakaiki) for two nights so it will be nice not to be up at the crack of dawn to take down tents. Think there's a bit of walking and the option of a horse ride. Not quite high adrenaline but pleasant nonetheless. We get pancakes for brekkie too. That's a bonus.

Swing when you're winning

Check this out: http://www.bungy.co.nz/index.php/pi_pageid/191 This is what I did this morning - the world's highest swing. Oh my god. It was amazing, over very, very quickly but amazing nonetheless. Isa and I were the first ones up, through choice, so had no real idea what was coming. A wise move on our part methinks. We were harnessed in then attached to each other. This took a long time because we weren't very obedient when it came to following orders like 'take your feet off the ground' and 'wave to that camera'. Then they released us. Oh my god again. You freefall 160m, in my case with my eyes mostly closed. It was a sunny but chilly morning and the speed and coldness of the wind rushing past me as we travelled at speeds of goodness knows what was enough to make me shut your eyes. The bonus of this was that I wasn't as aware as I might have been of the ground rushing towards us. Then the swing kicks in and you are swung across the other side of the canyon. Crazy shit. That's when you remember to scream. And scream I did. I anticipated more of a swing back and forth but because the swing is so long then it's all very gentle after that and you just do a few backwards and forwards above the river and absorb what you've just done. Then you are gradually winched back up, grinning from ear to ear and feeling extremely proud of yourself. I don't think I would have done it if T had been here with me. I did it for him and to challenge myself. I know he would be proud of me doing the Nevis Arc. I can see him grinning from ear to ear on my behalf. I contemplated doing another one for $35 but decided to save my pennies for copies of the official photos and video. Then a huge burger at Fergburger's in Queenstown and a well-earned beer. Woop woop.

Back to civilisation

Greetings from Queenstown, the adventure capital of NZ. It's a lovely little place - feels a lot like a ski village with outdoor shops, bars, internet cafes and lots of slate.

We've spent the past few days down in Fiordland, right down in the south west corner of NZ. It's a stunning area with lots of rugged mountains, lakes, waterfalls and of course, the fiords. Everything is kind of blurring into one so I'm not exactly sure what we did since I last blogged but will fill you in with what I can remember. On Friday night I upgraded to stay in a really cute little cabin at Gunn's Camp in the Hollyford Valley. The camp was originally used by the men who constructed the Homer Tunnel (through a mountain) many years ago and the cabins still have the original wood/coal-burning stoves - very smokey but nice and toasty. We had stroganoff and pasta for tea then sat round a camp fire and toasted marshmallows. The bad weather that was forecast didn't come to anything so the campers stayed dry that night.

The following morning we got up bright and early and drove down the valley to Milford Sound for a cruise. It was breathtaking. The cloud slowly cleared from the tops of the mountains and we were lucky enough to have a bottle-nose dolphin swimming infront of the boat at one point. They are much bigger than the dusky dolphins I was swimming with the other day - more like Flipper. The scenery was spectacular and we stopped by another pod of dolphins on the way back. Then it was back to the bus for a short drive back up the valley to the Divide, where 7 of us got off to start the Routeburn Track walk, a 38km (approx) walk through temperate rainforest, across the Harris Saddle and back down the other side.

We set off with our packs on our backs and climbed steeply through the rainforest. The trees were amazing. Dripping with mosses and lichens. It was quite hard going to start with, mainly getting used to carrying the weight. We needed our sleeping bags, food for 3 days and clothes etc. It was like Duke of Edinburgh all over again, although we did have the luxury of staying in Department of Conservation huts for the two nights so didn't need to carry or pitch tents.

We walked for approximately 3 hours before arriving at the Lake Mackenzie Hut, a big hut with 50 bunks 4 people to a platform. Fortunately there was only 2 of us on my platform so I didn't feel too penned in by random people. Flying Kiwi gave us loads of food and snacks - roast lamb and mash (out a packet) for tea, followed by chocolate dessert and condensed milk. Compared to the bothies we encountered on Duke of Edinburgh in Scotland, these huts were the height of luxury with electricity until 10pm, flushing toilets, gas hobs and matresses. There was a beautiful sunset which made the snow-topped mountains glow red. I slept remarkably well, all things considered, and those of you who know me well will be pleased to know that I'm kind of getting over my toilet phobia, or at least realising that I don't have much choice where I go on this trip!

After having our porridge and cappucino (complete with chocolate sprinkles), we set off to tackle the longest and steepest part of the walk, up and over Harris Saddle. It took us about 6 hours in total. The weather was kind to us and the cloud soon lifted so we were walking in brilliant sunshine. We left our pack in one of the other huts and climbed and scrambled up to the top of Conical Hill, which was really wortthwhile with amazing views. From then on it was all downhill to our next camp at Routeburn Flats. This hut was much smaller and there were only 10 of us staying. We had our chicken tikka masala and invited the warden in for chocolate dessert. It was interesting talking to him about the area and his job.

Despite having individual bunks and less people, I had a terrible night's sleep. The one guy in our dorm went straight to sleep and snored so I ended up taking my sleeping bag into the main room and trying to sleep there. The trouble was, we'd lit a fire earlier so it was boiling hot. I took my sleeping bag off and lay in my sleeping bag liner. Then the sandflies (like midges) started attacking me so I got up to spray repellent. Then I needed the loo. I eventually slept for a while but woke up cold. Got back in my sleeping bag. Then some keen hikers got up at the crack of dawn which woke me again. Eventually it was time to get up and we had a leisurely 1.5hr walk through the forest to the car park where we got a shuttle bus into Queenstown. I'm so pleased I did the Routeburn. It was a lovely walk, the weather was great, the scenery was spectacular and I got to see the NZ that I was expecting to see, not just another town. T would have loved it and I thought of him often.

So, my tent is pitched, we've had lunch and I've just paid for my Nevis Swing - a 130m canyon swing that I do tomorrow morning. I must be completely mad. It's just not me and I'm still not sure why I'm doing it but I'm sure I'll be grinning when it's over. I think maybe when T died a little bit of him jumped into me. It's the only explanation I've got for doing half the things I've done since he died. They are all T things and very few of them are Sarah things. But they all feel bizarrely right. I'm doing it tandem with a lovely German girl called Isa, who feels exactly the same as me about it. At least we can hold hands and scream together. You freefall for 70m. Holy shit. At least you're attached to a rope and I think the swinging bit will be good fun. See how I'm trying to kid myself it'll be OK?

Aside from all of that, I'm well and still enjoying being out here. It was definitely the right thing to do and I've got no regrets. I told a really nice Brummie girl called Rachel about T. Just because she asked me the wrong question at the wrong time. I feel relieved though. I thought it would all happen more publically and had been speaking to my counsellor about that and contingency plans. Rachel has been really sweet and talks to me about T if I want to. I don't know if she's told anyone else. But that doesn't really matter. The weather has been mixed. It got cold but warmed up on the Routeburn. Now it's mild but showery - a result of the typhoon in the Pacific, someone mentioned. Now I'm going to head back to the campsite and wash, dry and straighten my hair - what luxury. I can't wait. I haven't showered since Friday. Not pleasant. Tonight we're eating out and having a few beers as quite a few people leave the bus tomorrow. I guess that means we'll have some new people joining too. I will be sad to say goodbye to some of the people - it won't be the same without them.

I have a feeling I might not have the chance to do much blogging between here and Nelson so don't be surprised if I go AWOL again. I'll update you when I can but in the meantime, I hope you are all well. Sorry I haven't got round to replying to individual emails but thinking of you all and appreciate the texts and emails you've sent. Wish me luck for tomorrow. Listen out for the screaming. I reckon there's a good chance you'll hear it over the other side of the world.

16m 27s

Rightio, what can I tell you today... travelled from Oamaru along the coast to the Moeraki Boulders (big round boulders, funnily enough) that were created millions of years ago and are slowly being exposed on the beach by the coastal erosion. Had a lovely flat white - have I told you how great the coffee is here? - then carried on to Dunedin, Gallic for Edinburgh. Christchurch was adopted by the English and is bizarrely like England, whereas the Scots adopted Dunedin so you see things like kilt shops and pipe band practice advertised. It's a strange little town, I didn't really warm to it much - but we had a tour of the Speight's Brewery followed by the obligatory tasting, then went and raided the charity shops (called op shops here - opportunity shops), of which there are many in Dunedin. Tomorrow is op shop day so we have to wear our outfits all day - should be interesting.

It's much colder here and we had rain and hail in Dunedin - the first rain I've seen for a while. As a result, most of us have upgraded tonight so we're staying in a YHA hostel in Owaka. The countryside here really reminds me of Northumberland with lots of rolling, pine-clad hills. The hostel is a former mental hospital and apparently my room was the mortuary so I'll be taking another sleeping tablet tonight...

Just about to head off to a pub where we're going to cook burgers then sit in the warmth and drink beer. What a treat.

You don't get much time to chill on this tour, other than on the bus, so feel like I'm just getting snatches of time to do things like catch up on my blog/emails/reading. But until tomorrow, I'll just keep moving on...

12 minute update

So, I'm in an internet cafe in Oamaru and I have 11m 33s of internet time left so will try and type fast...

Joined group in Wellington after saying goodbye to Laura. I definitely left a bit of my heart in the windy city - it's stunning. Caught ferry to Picton and chatted to a few people then stayed in a hostel. Since then I've been dolphin swimming at Kaikoura which was an incredible experience. They were en route to their feeding ground so didn't hang around but they were within touching distance as they leapt by and we got about 5 swims in with them in total. I sang the Flipper theme tune to them.

Also been whitewater rafting at the Rangitata Gorge. It was amazing. I did lots of screaming and loved every minute. Last night we were in a bush camp beside an amazing glacial lake with a smelly long-drop toilet. This morning we did a lovely 3 hour walk to the base of Mt Cook and another glacial lake with mini icebergs in it. And tonight we are in Oamaru (not in our bush camp as it's turned very windy). Weather has generally been lovely - blue skies, lots of warm sunshine and lovely sunsets/rises, but there's a cold front moving in so it's meant to be changing. Should be good for the Routeburn Track walk in a few days though.

People are friendly - a mix of nationalities - and so far none of them know my story so I've had a few private tears but have generally been putting on my brave, smiley face. Quite hard at times but lots of distractions. Food has been great on the tour. I'm cooking today so was up at 6am to lay out the breakfast stuff. We stopped at a salmon farm en route so tonight it's salmon in a cream sauce with pasta.

Right, gotta dash but just wanted to check in. Sorry it's short but thinking of you all and sending love to my fam. Thanks for all the emails/texts - will reply at some point...

Chapter two

Well, here I am on the eve of the next leg of my adventure. Tonight I join a 27-day group tour of New Zealand - both North and South Islands. I feel a mixture of apprehension, excitement, nerves and curiosity. We camp most nights and the focus is very much on the outdoors, with walks and bike rides every day. It will be so nice to explore this beautiful country without having to do it alone. But in many ways, although I'll be in a group, I think I will feel very alone. Still, there'll be plenty to see and do and I'm sure I'll meet some like-minded people. I get the impression that the group has been together since Auckland so I may well be the new girl but hopefully people will be nice to me and it won't be as daunting as I'm anticipating it might be.

I'm taking advantage of the electricity and comfort of Laura's apartment while I can, having charged my camera battery and phone, and washed, dried and straightened my hair (loving having my straighteners with me!), so I think I'm just about set. Tonight I meet the group and we catch the ferry across to the South Island, spending tonight in a hostel in Picton. On Monday we camp near the beach at Kaikoura and I've booked a swimming with dolphins trip for Tuesday. I'm not very confident in the open sea, nor am I keen on coming face to face with sea creatures but I think it will be quite an experience so I'm going to be brave. I think I'll need a large dose of bravery to get me through the next 24 hours. I'm sorry to be saying goodbye to Wellington, and to Laura. I will miss them both and am grateful to have been able to acclimatise here for the past few days. So, wish me luck and I'll keep you posted as and when I can over the next month...

Back to Laura's roots

Friday saw us bid farewell to our little cottage and we hit the road again, this time bound for the Hogg family farm in an area called the Manawatu. We stopped for coffee and a date scone at the Mount Bruce nature reserve and sat in the sun watching a native bird called a takahe feeding (you can just make him out in this picture but he's got his head in the seed box).

The drive onwards to Feilding, Laura's nearest town, was picturesque and we passed through a beautiful gorge from one side of the mountains to the other. We drove past Laura's high school, then her first school before reaching the farm in time for lunch. Laura's mum, Judy, fed us well and we spent the afternoon sat by the pool, slipping in every half hour or so to cool off. It was very hot - about 26 degrees with no wind. Afternoon tea with homemade cakes meant we got a bit of shade under the umbrella then Laura and I took two of the dogs, Lucy and Jess for a walk in the fields. They enjoyed playing with each other, Jess crouching down low in the grass, staring at Lucy who invariably paid her little attention. I had a weird moment where I thought I should take a picture of the dogs for T, before the realisation hit me. It's hard knowing that I can't go home and tell him about this trip. He'd so enjoy hearing about it. I hope he's somehow here with me.

This area reminds me a little bit of Northumberland. Big skies. Rolling hills. Fields. Pine forests. Sheep and cows. It was nice staying at Laura's house. Her parents were very generous and welcoming and I immediately felt at home in their home. It was also nice seeing where Laura grew up and observing the influences that have contributed to her being the person I know her to be. When you meet people as an adult, it's sometimes hard to imagine their childhood and their family. It's not always you can get to see this 'behind the scenes' aspect of their lives and I feel fortunate to have been invited to do so. Angus, Laura's brother, came round for dinner and we all enjoyed a delicious meal of barbequed lamb and salads washed down with several bottles of New Zealand wine.

Dispelling myths

A few people said to me before I left that going to NZ would be like stepping back in time. So far that definitely hasn't been the case. They've got all mod cons. Some also said that I may find the Kiwis (the people, not the birds) annoying. I've met a few now and they've all been lovely. I don't have a bad thing to say about either NZ or its people.

What people didn't tell me is that the food and coffee in New Zealand would be out of this world. Since arriving on Tuesday I haven't had one bad cup of coffee (and we're not talking Starbucks kinda coffee here. This is proper coffee, often served in glasses. Strong and extremely well made.) And if the quality of the food continues then this blog is at risk of becoming hard core food porn, although I'm conscious that the food on the camping trip may not be something I write home about quite so much. Wait and see...

Anyway, we set off from Wellington on Thursday morning. The sun was shining and Laura and I were both excited about our little road trip. We drove through the Hutt Valley and into the Wairarapa region in Laura's little Daewoo, affectionately known as 'the Woo'. The scenery was stunning. Lots of mountains and greenery. There wasn't a cloud in the sky.

Lunch was at the beautiful Murdoch James winery on the outskirts of Martinborough (http://www.murdochjames.co.nz/). It was one of the most delicious meals I've had for a long time. We started with warmed olives marinated in fennel seeds and a lovely glass of Pinot Gris. For mains I had pork belly on an Asian salad (cabbage, carrot, mint, coriander, almonds, tomatoes and roasted pineapple). We shared a trio of desserts - hazelnut creme brulee, berry sorbet and lavender panna cotta. It was all very delicious and very civilised.

This area is quite different to Wellington. The vineyards are on the plain with rolling hills behind them. There were fewer cicadas, much less wind, lots of Cabbage White butterflies and it was baking hot. Too hot to sit outside for lunch. Apparently it's quite unusual to have so many hot days in March so I feel very lucky. We were talking to the lady in the winery and she said that because the summer hadn't been great, there were fewer grapes on the vines. This is both good (the nutrients are divided among fewer grapes so each grape gets more and is therefore healthier), and bad (low yields). One vineyard owner she knows has decided not to harvest his grapes this year because it wouldn't be worth his while. That must be pretty devastating and financially crippling. I've never really considered the hard work that goes into producing wine, and the many variables involved. I just drink it. Shame on me.

After resisting a glass of Murdoch James delicious Pinot Noir in favour of saving ourselves for some tastings at other wineries, we were rather disappointed to find that every winery we went to was closed. Lack of customers one lady told us. So we picked up some nice cheese, smoked salmon and a good bottle of rose in Martinborough and checked into our cottage - Villino Toscana (http://villinocottages.co.nz/toscana.html) . It was very cute and admittedly was a little like stepping back in time, but in a good way. You'd pay a lot of money to achieve the same look back home but I think it had been done with a modern eye. The only thing that perturbed us was the discovery of a 'Crackling Fire' cd. A full 60 minutes of, wait for it... crackling fire noises. Except it sounded more like a towering inferno.

Martinborough, like many of the little towns we passed, reminds me of some of the American towns you see in Westerns. Most of the buildings are made of wood and the majority of people live in bungalows. There are no high rises and the streets are much wider than those in Europe. The shops all have little porch/veranda things and everywhere is immaculate. Yet, it's not really in an old-fashioned way, as you might expect. Maybe more retro-chic. Except I think the retro bit is unintentional sometimes. It makes a refreshing change from the narrow streets and taller buildings we are used to in Europe. I guess they've got slightly more space per capita to play with over here.

Laura and I had a game of petanque and sat in the sun, the silence punctuated every few minutes by the blast of the crow scarers keeping the birds away from the vines. I was also introduced to Cadbury's Marshmallow Eggs - kind of like a Creme Egg but bigger and made with marshmallow. Laura doesn't have a television so as a special treat for her we sat down and watched New Zealand's Best Home Baker (the cupcake competition) and Project Runway, before hitting the hay after a very relaxing day.

Guilty pleasures

Picture this

A brand new day

Woke up this morning when Laura left for work at 6.45am. Pulled back the curtain, crawled back into bed and lay watching the sun rise over the hills and sea opposite. It was nice feeling the first rays of the day hitting my face.

It's another blue sky day here - I think I'm lucky to have two in a row. The cicadas have started chirping and the usual breeze is there but there's no white horses at sea yet so maybe it's not quite as blowy as yesterday. Wellington is the windiest city in the southern hemisphere - the average annual wind speed is 22kph. Yesterday was not a good hair day. Wellington has been built on the land side of a little bay so although I'm technically now looking out at the sea, it appears from here to be more like a lake - I can't see the open sea but am surrounded by beautiful hills. You would have thought that might have made it more sheltered but it doesn't seem to work that way here.

So, today's schedule is as follows: Laura arrives back from work about 10am and we aim to hit the road about 11. We're headed for a little village called Martinborough, about an hour from here, that was established by an Irish settler.  He designed the main square so that it forms the shape of the Union Jack. We're booked into the Murdoch James winery for lunch at 1pm then we check into our little cottage before heading out for some tastings and to buy some provisions for the evening. It sounds like it'll be a lovely day and nice to explore some of the surrounding area. Tomorrow (possibly hungover I'm thinking?) we continue on to Laura's farm and the forecast is good - 24 degrees - so hoping to get a dip in her parents' pool while we're there.

It's so nice to see Laura again. Although it's been a while, she's such easy company and a generous and thoughtful host. I've had a good balance of time on my own to adjust and explore without feeling too lonely and now I'm looking forward to spending some quality time with her on our road trip and seeing where she grew up. We've had some laughs, some deeper, philosophical conversations, some comparing of grief and bereavement notes, and a big Corporate Edge status update, so some of you should have felt your ears burning.

Right, the sun is well over the hill now so that suggests I should get showered and packed and see if there's time to head up and down a gazillion steps to get to the waterfront for a stroll before Laura gets back. Or maybe I'll just sit on the decking and read my book in the sunshine. Less sweaty.

Wellington

Warm sunshine. Strong winds. On a high. A call from Sandra. Steps. Lots of steps. Cicadas. Vistas. Hills. Sea. Green. And blue. Planes. Great latte. Beehive-shaped parliament building. Alone. Janet Cardiff's The Forty Part Motet = the most amazing thing I've ever heard. Relaxed. Sculpture. "Tomorrow will be the same but not as this is." A paddle. A shop then a climb. Hot. Watermelon. Earl Grey. Thoughts of T.

Cockles and mussels

I feel like I've been transported from my July-February parallel universe, in which many things appeared to be the same as my 1977-July universe but at the same time were completely and unimaginably different, and into yet another parallel universe which looks fundamentally the same as the other two but is at the same time completely and unimaginably different. Today I feel that the thick smog that has enveloped me in recent months is beginning to lift. There are warm rays of sunshine coming through. It feels surprisingly safe and calm in this universe. I like it. I feel alive again. Alive alive-o.

Room with a view

Well, here I am in Wellington enjoying a beer with Laura and gazing out from her lounge over the bay to the hillside and mountains opposite. It's truly spectacular and not at all like I imagined. Apart from the fact the room feels like it's moving, I feel surprisingly good. We've already had a quick tour of Wellington in the car and got some provisions in so can just chill out now and see what time my body thinks is bedtime.

It's very windy here but was a pleasant 20 degrees when I arrived. There's lots of low grey cloud skimming the tops of the hills but it's dry and certainly an improvement on the weather I left behind in London on Sunday night. Wellington is very green with wooden houses perched on the surrounding hillsides. It's a bit like Rio. Well, not quite, but kind of. Tomorrow Laura is at work so I plan to wander into the CBD and take a look around. On Thursday we're off to some wineries then to the Hogg family farm on Friday.

I'm so happy to be here. With Laura. After an easy enough journey. In one piece. With my suitcase. And a beer. And the view to top it all. T would approve and would definitely want to live here. But then there's not many places he didn't want to live.

Two flights down, one to go...

Well, I've had two dinners and two breakfasts in the past 26 hours but not one lunch. Two nights and no days. Not much to report from the KL-Auckland flight. The plane was empty so no-one to chat to. Watched a good French film, 'Le Petit Nicholas'. Had more satay, a crabmeat salad in a tomato cup, followed by chicken cooked with lemongrass, galagal, ginger, chilli and steamed rice and a below-par blueberry cheesecake. I'll be about a stone heavier by the time I get to Wellington.

Feel surprisingly OK - bit weary and motion sicky but not half as bad as I thought. Also a bit hot and sweaty. It's a balmy 23 degrees here and I've got flight socks, jeans and a long sleeve top on. Roll on that shower in Wellington.

Rightio, better go and see where I'm meant to be next. My next flight leaves in about an hour and takes an hour so looking forward to seeing Laura very soon.

Adios from Auckland...

Business class all the way

So, I did it. I managed to finally decide what to pack and what to leave at home (5 pairs of shoes and straighteners all made it into the essentials pile), I sorted out all my last minute bits in the flat, I closed the door behind me and managed not to crumble, and lasted until we got to Heathrow before having my meltdown. Not bad I reckon. My panic attack came to nothing once I shared it with my friends, my Australian visa had gone through after all (after the check-in woman couldn't find it on the system) and my bag amazingly only weighed 19.4kg, so I know I must have forgotten something essential. Then there was nothing for it but to say a stressed, quick and emotional goodbye to my lovely well-wishers Margot, Sam, Molly and Zehra (thanks so much guys - you really are the best. If I'd gone on my own I may well not have got on the plane) and go through security. Then there were more tears on the phone to family and Jo, and not as much time as I would have liked to explore the business class lounge or phone Lynn as I'd planned, before we boarded and I stopped worrying and started living in the moment again. Phew. It's quite draining getting so wound up and definitely a relief to be on my way finally. It all feels very surreal that after two months of talking about it I'm actually doing it. I don't think I'd quite got my head around the doing bit. But it feels so right. I feel at peace with myself right now.

Now, I really, really don't want to be one of those people who brag about how amazing something is while you are stuck at work reading all about it but I guess that's how I'll sound. Sorry. I'm not writing with that intention but you may want to look away now if you've got the Monday blues. Although I wanted to tell you that I'm OK, the main point of this post is to rave and rave and rave about business class. I've had train journeys from London to Newcastle that have felt longer than that 11.5hr flight just did. But the sleeping tablet, champagne and travel sickness tablet cocktail probably all contributed too - I don't tend to have that when I go up north. I'm now thinking that I might have to set myself a new personal standard to find a job that pays enough for me to fly business class on all long-hauls. It really makes a difference. I can't thank you enough for sorting those flights, Dad ;o)

Here's the detail: I got on the plane and went upstairs. Upstairs! It's like you're on your own little private jet up there. No riff raff to worry about and no queues for the loo. I picked up the Mail on Sunday (it was that or the Express) and I read an article about swimming with dolphins (I'll be doing just that in about 2 wk's time), then I had champagne and peanuts and stretched out my legs as far as they could reach and my gleaming new Converse still didn't reach the wall in front of me. Then I read the in-flight magazine and saw that Whale Watching Kaikoura won two awards in some recent awards ceremony. Yep, that's where I'll be doing the dolphin swimming. Then I had some satay. Then some smoked halibut. That's two appetisers. On a plane. Then the main - seabass. Pudding was a bit of a disappointment but by then I was too full to care. I had a chamomile tea then finished the in-flight magazine: an article on Stockholm (T took me there for my birthday two years ago), another on the Masai people in Kenya (where we went on honeymoon), one about Rio (our favourite South American city) and finally an article by someone who'd completed a two-day motorcycle trip in Malaysia. Later, I flicked through the Sunday Times Travel magazine and stumbled across a 27-page special on NZ. That's rather a lot of coincidences I reckon. It all feels like it's meant to be. Weird.

I got chatting to my neighbour, a friendly Malaysian doctor, who proceeded to show me entire albums of photos of his wife and kids at Langkawi, Wellington, HK... that made me sleepy so I reclined my chair and curled up for a bit of shut eye. No time to watch any of the films, although the one that I might have watched, 'An Education' said in the synopsis: "Jenny's dreams of a life less ordinary come true..." Weird again. I woke up occasionally to get comfy, replace an ear plug, or when the seatbelt sign came on and off. There was a bit of turbulence but nothing untoward. I had no idea of the time, couldn't see one of those godforsaken screens showing that your plane is... oh, still over Europe, and before I knew it we were woken up for breakfast (no peach pancakes left so settled for plain old Alpen) and landed shortly afterwards. I've had a shower, spoken to my Dad and discovered the internet access, so here I am.

It's 7.54pm here so I've lost an entire morning and afternoon but it does mean I'm entitled to another glass of champagne. My next flight is at 9.30pm so I don't have too much time to kill. I'll go and read about Cheryl Cole in my Hello magazine and sup some champers. Think of me won't you?

Thanks for the emails and good wishes. It helps me feel less alone. And sorry this post may be particularly long and possibly boring. I don't have anyone else to tell so you're getting it all...

Next stop Auckland then change plans for the one hour flight to Wellington where lovely Laura will be waiting for me. Arrive about 3.30pm their time tomorrow. Bye for now from Malaysia.